“Glory Pullers?” The Worthy Bike Club’s Looking for a Few Good Dreamers.
Wed, 27 Mar 2013 18:55:00
Do you like to take a pull? A hard pull on the front? Into the wind? Uphill? Head down, back table top flat, lips kissing the stem, the quads loading up, the respiration quickening, forging ahead bravely but stupidly? Locked on to a single unambiguous but cosmically trivial mission? Striving for that mind-body harmony, denying the encroaching fatigue, staving off the brutal horrors of imminent shut down? While a tiny voice inside commands with escalating urgency: “Harder, nimrod.” All the while a herd of tongue-dangled domos holding on to your wheel, for dear life, at once respecting your heroic effort and appalled by it’s idiotic fierceness?
Me neither. Used to, sort of. Back inda day, when the sticks were clean and shiny and the belly a few six packs flatter, it was sometimes flattering to be “that guy” who would take the point on the pel in the hardest sections and pull til his head figuratively came off and his legs exploded. Oh you could justify it – I was chasing for my teammates. I wanted to break away (from the front?). I wanted to thin the herd. I felt good (up until he got dropped when the wheel sucks smartly attacked). Or, my favorite: I was inspired by Boxer the dim-witted workhorse in “Animal Farm.”
Oh we can make up all sorts of stories about why we pulled ourselves silly. But in the end, per this old pack mule, we did it for the glory. It may not have felt good in a physical way, unless you’re a certified masochist (hurts so good, hoofaw!) with a touch of sadism (just wanted to inflict pain). But, in our heads, where the legends are made, we were doing the unthinkable, the impossible, crushing our opponents into oblivion, dropping the field, and riding off into the loving arms of our exalted Creator. We were perfect. Immaculate.
It’s that feeling of jubilation that we’re clinging onto over here at Worthy. We’ve had it, and want more. We won’t win any races. We won’t even enter any races. But we want to feed that part of us, call it the ego, or insatiable narcissism, call it whatever – that yearns to get off on the bike. By that we don’t mean simply enjoy the ride, or get in the moment, or be aware of every nook n cranny — all that hoary rot — but friggin’ escape. Rise above, transcend all the chatter and nonsense and bullshit and get ahold of that golden rope and climb baby climb ‘til you’re untouchable, above the reach of that rat bastard stinging conscience, and fully immersed in The Bliss.
Or maybe that’s way too hi-falutin. You just want to ride with some buds, kick it around, explore a few canyons, summit a few peaks, bomb a few trails, and top off a challenging day with a cold brew. Man, that’s the juice. When you’re slightly dehydrated, your brain is swelling with a sense of satisfaction and pride for a day well lived, you’re with people you care about, and now you get to reward yourself with that bubbling golden nectar of the gods. I’m talking about a decent beer with an ABV that packs a little punch. Glory pulling onda bike, glory chasing offta bike.
So here’s the pitch. Worthy’s forming a bike club. We got swag – jerseys, bib shorts, socks, gloves, hats, windbreakers – the whole kit ‘n caboodle. We’re not a race team, unless you’re including bench racing, which we will excel at (I attacked at the base, and strung it out, and one by one they popped, and … and I was all alone, OTF, and … and I whiffed by the lead car… and … and torqued so hard I broke my chain … and carried my smoking carcass of a ride across the finish line.. still ten minutes up on the field…)
If you want in, you will need, in order, 1) an imagination, 2) a thirst for something new and different, and 3) a few bucks to buy a Worthy kit. You can call yourself a Worthy Glory Puller, but you don’t have to. You don’t need shaved legs. You don’t need a racing license. You don’t need to feel the need to crush, or stomp, or paste. You simply want to play, and occasionally play hard, sometimes work together, and pretty much simply get up offa that thing. Oh, and it helps a great deal to have a bike of some kind that works most of the time.
If you’re new to it all, you’re Worthy. We don’t have an official riding event schedule at this time. In the near future we will be organizing mountain bike and road bike rides in Central Oregon. We’ll try to start and stop the rides here at the brewery so there’s plenty of incentive to return safely and swiftly.
Worthy Bike Club members will also receive a card that entitles same to 50% of the price of their first beer of the day, and other discounts to be announced later.
Click on each Worthy item to enlarge.
Collectible Worthy Swag courtesy of the artisnal apparel geniuses at Primal
We will be providing a price sheet in a few.
Until then, a Worthy Credo:
Dreaming without doing is gutless.
Doing without dreaming is heartless.
Dreaming whilst doing some damn thing is pretty near Worthy.